Thursday 9 October 2014

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution:                                                   ...

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution:                                                   ...:                                                                                                  Heartfelt Hug for Everyone Now the pr...
                                                  
                                              Heartfelt Hug for Everyone

Now the practice of loving-kindness can get challenging, because you are bringing to mind people who you may not like, who have hurt you in some way, said something to you that was not nice, for example. As you practice with your child you can share a situation with them and model your loving-kindness practice with them, and then your child can do the practice for their situation.



Closing your eyes, bring that person into your imagination, bring that  person into your mind, and move into the tenderness of your own heart, start to feel the loving-kindness you have for someone you love and care for, someone who loves and cares for you. Feeling that kindness place your hands on your heart and say

'Just like me, you (name if you wish) want to be happy"
"Just like me, you (name) want to feel safe"
"Just like me you (name) want to feel joy"

repeat 2 more times, move your hand out as an expression of sending this care to that person.

take 2 more deep breaths open your eyes.


The more you practice this loving-kindness for your self, your loved ones and those you struggle with, the more kindness you cultivate. The happier you will be and this happiness ripples out to others.

Children learn from you your acceptance of others and that we all are more the same then different. This does not mean you don't stand up for yourself, have healthy boundaries, it means you recognize we are all one human family and in order for us to inhabit this world in a peaceful way, we need to cultivate kindness, understanding, and compassion.


Sunday 21 September 2014

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution: IMPROVING YOUR RATIO OF POSITIVE TO NEGATIVE EMOTI...

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution: IMPROVING YOUR RATIO OF POSITIVE TO NEGATIVE EMOTI...: I MPROVING YOUR RATIO OF POSITIVE TO NEGATIVE EMOTIONS I hope you are enjoying the first step in practicing lovingkindness, by practici...


IMPROVING YOUR RATIO OF POSITIVE TO NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

I hope you are enjoying the first step in practicing lovingkindness, by practicing lovingkindness to yourself.
Now, let's move on to the next step, sending loving-kindness to family member or friend.When you have completed the first step which I wrote in the last blog, you continue by bringing to your mind, imagination a family memeber, or a friend, when you have that person in your mind, again with your hand or both hands on your heart say to this family member or friend

"May you be happy"
"May you be safe"
"May you be healthy and well"
"May you be free from all fear"
 (Or make up your own phrases )

Repeat two more times.

Take 3 deep breaths to really grow and feel these feelings in your body, and then release your hand and let it move forward as if offering to your friend/family member and then let the picture of your friend/family member go.




 Christine Carter , Ph.D wrote in her blog "Loving-kindness meditation does far more than produce momentary good feelings. Over a nine week period, research showed that this type of meditation increased people's experiences of positive emotions. (If you are working on improving your ratio of positive to negative emotions, start with loving-kindness!) The research shows compellingly that it actually puts people on "trajectories of growth," leaving them better able to ward off depression and "become ever more satisfied with life." This is probably because it increases a wide range of those resources that make for a meaningful and successful life, like having an increased sense of purpose, stronger social support, and less illness. Research even shows that loving-kindness meditation "changes the way people approach life" for the better.
I've blogged before about social connections and how important they are for health and happiness. Doing a simple loving-kindness meditation can make us feel less isolated and more connected to those around us: one study showed that a SINGLE SEVEN MINUTE loving-kindness meditation made people feel more connected to and positive about both loved ones and total strangers, and more accepting of themselves. Imagine what a regular practice could do!"

What a wonderful way to end your day with your child, cultivating more loving-kindness in your lives and sending it to others. Love to all.

 

Wednesday 10 September 2014

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution:

       Children Cultivating Lovingkindness 



Why do we need to support children in cultivating lovingkindness? It is innate in all of us, we are born with the seed of compassion, we need to cultivate it, to keep it growing. If we all were more compassionate practicing lovingkindness maybe the world would be a kinder, safer, more joyful world for all children, all of us to live in.

The first step in having more lovingkindness in our lives and in the world is to cultivate it within ourselves and to have a common understanding of what we mean by lovingkindness. Ask your child what love means to them, how they would define love. Give them time to come up with their own meaning/s.(Examples could be “hugs”, “family”)So now we sort of know what love is. Now, ask your child how they would define kindness. (Examples could be “when someone does something nice for me”,  "petting a cat not pulling its tail", “sharing toys”) Now we put these two experiences together, now we have this practice called lovingkindness.

 

To begin we will practice lovingkindness for ourselves.  You give the instructions and model for them, by placing your hand on your heart and asking them to do the same, now feel your breath moving your chest under your hand, pay attention to the feeling of your breath moving your hand up a little bit as you breath in and down a little bit as you breath out, do this for one more complete breath.
Now, if you are comfortable close your eyes and imagine that the love and kindness you (the child) described and how you would feel, and using your imagination see yourself standing in front of the mirror in the morning. See your reflection in the mirror.
With your hand on your heart repeat quietly to yourself
“May I be happy”
“May I be safe”
“May I be healthy”
“May I be free from worry”
Repeat 2 more times. Now, take 3 slow breaths to really allow these feelings to be felt in your body.
You can make up any phrases that have meaning to you/child. This is a wonderful practice at bedtime, or anytime of the day.
Next step coming soon. May your heart and mind be soothed with this practice. Love to all.


Sunday 17 August 2014

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution: Gift of Silence Hello everyone,I am at a Silent...

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution: Gift of Silence
Hello everyone,

I am at a Silent...
: Gift of Silence Hello everyone, I am at a Silent Retreat this coming week, so will not be blogging. Silence gives me an opportunity t...


Gift of Silence

Hello everyone,

I am at a Silent Retreat this coming week, so will not be blogging. Silence gives me an opportunity to spend time learning more about my mind and heart, get in touch with my emotions, feelings, thoughts. I want to see more clearly the cycles of thoughts, stories that I keep telling myself, that cause suffering for myself and others.

“Perhaps the biggest tragedy of our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns...We may want to love other people without holding back, to feel authentic, to breathe in the beauty around us, to dance and sing. Yet each day we listen to inner voices that keep our life small.”
Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha

In October, this year, I will be hosting a Silent Retreat at Nature's Breath Room, I want to share with others the gifts of spending time in silence. I am sure you have experienced moments of silence, maybe while in woods, in your garden, at the ocean, lake, river or viewing a piece of art, where thoughts vanished and you felt deep contentment, connected, in awe.

Tender Words
--Rumi
 
Tender words we spoke
to one another
are sealed
in the secret vaults of heaven.
One day like rain,
they will fall to earth
and grow green
all over the world.


Have a wonderful week, love to all

Friday 15 August 2014

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution: Key Skills to Thrive Me being playful I have n...

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution: Key Skills to Thrive
 Me being playful


I have n...
: Key Skills to Thrive   Me being playful I have not posted a blog for a while, we had our two grand-girls here for a week and the...
Key Skills to Thrive

 
Me being playful



I have not posted a blog for a while, we had our two grand-girls here for a week and then I worked on an art piece for our art show, the opening is tonight. I love the process of making an art piece, it is an opportunity to create something that has not been here before, it is an opportunity to use my imagination and then focus on what will appear. 

I just finished reading Martha Beck's book,  "Finding Your Way in a Wild New World, Reclaim Your True Nature to Create the Life You Want" and she writes about the creative process of reclaiming your true nature, the  four basic skills are Wordlessness, where you are not using the language side of the brain as much as the creative side, Oneness where you feel connected, one with all and everything, third skill is Imagination this is seeing the world through the lens of fun, playfulness, and puzzle-solving, the last skill is Forming creating physically, bringing into a physical form what has not existed before. Now, this is my perspective of what Martha Beck was pointing to, so to really understand what she is pointing to I highly recommend reading her book.

While creating this art piece I was in a place of Wordlessness the chatter of my mind
actually slows down and at times stops and I feel Oneness, not separate from all and everything which is a common feeling that creeps in throughout my day, I allowed my Imagination to lead the process, and the art piece was Forming through my physical abilities. It is like magic to me what unfolds as the creation process continues. I felt this when I used to run it is called Flow (Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does. Wikipedia)  I felt like I could run forever.

I want to reclaim more often that way of being and doing, that Martha Beck writes about,  like when I create art, was running, because that is when I feel most alive, centered, grounded, passionate, full of possibility, no-ceiling, connected, spacious, compassionate, full of LOVE.

I also feel this way when I teach yoga, mindfulness, and other things I like to share, it is important to identify when we feel this way and do more of those things, be with those people and this will create the life we want and deserve. 

What do you do in your life that makes you feel what martha beck writes about? How can you do more of that in your life and begin to pay ATTENTION to what and whom creates that feeling in you ? Much love to all


Sunday 27 July 2014

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution:  PLAY A COPING SKILL FOR OUR LIVESGermany in Nove...

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution:  PLAY A COPING SKILL FOR OUR LIVES
Germany in Nove...
:   PLAY A COPING SKILL FOR OUR LIVES Germany in November Archan's Mom and I I love the word 'play' and I am afraid of it...


 PLAY A COPING SKILL FOR OUR LIVES

Germany in November Archan's Mom and I
I love the word 'play' and I am afraid of it, I think. First why I am afraid, well I think it is because I have this belief that 'play' is for children only, it is a waste of time, don't know how to play as an adult so would I look silly. Why do I love the word 'play',well I was remembering this morning what I loved to do as a child, how I loved using my imagination and living my life there for periods of time. A memory just came to me, from a time when I was babysitting our two granddaughters in Digby. There was a hill very close to their home, it was summer time, and I imagined coasting down that hill. I found a crazy carpet and the three of us went coasting, what fun. I am sure some people would think that odd, coasting in the summer and at my age (about 9 years ago). I love to 'play' I was talking with Greg at the Chatterbox Cafe in Pugwash about spending time with grandchildren and how our way of being changes, we allow ourselves to play, and actually it feels natural.

 Martha Beck talks a lot about play, I am reading her book " Finding Your Way in a Wild New World, Reclaim Your True Nature to Create the Life You Want" and she says ".....the way to cope with the increasing complexity of the wild new world is to play more." Martha Beck also talks about "deep play" which involves mastering something difficult. She goes on "Real play is actually a wildly creative application of deep practice. It means picking something hard and doing it at a level that's almost too difficult."

Neuroscientists have found that this "edge of impossibilty" is where the brain produces its maximum doses of feel-good hormones like dopamine." Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls it "flow", Ellen Langer calls it "mindfulness". I like how Martha Beck says we must learn to play like we mean it. I really enjoyed as a child the difficult challenge of taming a wild barn cat, a scared race horse, I would learn the sounds the animal made and watch intensely it's body language with my whole body and mind. I would succeed in befriending it and feel so good about it (feel-good hormones). I would feel connected with everything for a period of time.

 I do want to play more, and bring this concept of play into my whole life not just brief periods of time. See what I am doing presently or something that is difficult I want to do as a time of deep play, I find that there is not an attachment to the outcome, pressure is not there, I like this human quality of 'play'. I hope you too will play more, love to all.

Monday 21 July 2014

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution:  My Teacher, Sam  Archan and I were at our family...

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution:  My Teacher, Sam
 Archan and I were at our family...
:  My Teacher, Sam  Archan and I were at our family lake lot with wonderful friends, yesterday. They enjoyed swimming, kayaking, I sat on s...
 My Teacher, Sam

 Archan and I were at our family lake lot with wonderful friends, yesterday. They enjoyed swimming, kayaking, I sat on shore afraid to get in the water in case the movement would cause me more pain. I fell off a horse two years ago and the recovery has been long and slow. I had kayaked a short distance the day before and was sore, so thought it best to give the body more time to recover. In a lot of circumstances that is a wise option, to allow time to recover.

I had a conversation with our friend's son, Sam, and something he said made me sit up more straight and listen more with all my senses, with my whole body.

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”
Albert Einstein
I

I have experienced  that if I pay attention with the intention to be open to what is being said, shown, I will learn what I need at the time. Sam just completed his first year in university, studying engineering, I asked him why engineering, he said "because I want to challenge myself". Imagine saying I want to challenge myself. What would I do if I wanted to challenge myself? WOW!!! I love this question, when I ask it I feel myself sit straighter, there is a feeling of alertness, curiosity, confidence, I want to look at what would challenge me, not always go for the safe route.

“It's daring to be curious about the unknown, to dream big dreams, to live outside prescribed boxes, to take risks, and above all, daring to investigate the way we live until we discover the deepest treasured purpose of why we are here.”
Luci Swindoll,
I Married Adventure


Today I biked to the lake for the first time this summer, I went in swimming, I want to challenge myself, not stand on the shore and watch my life go by, I am going to say "YES" to the challenge/s that I am facing. I will do some very gentle movement tomorrow so the body can recover. What I learned from Sam, I will use in all aspects of my life, I am smiling as I am writing, my heart is contented, mind focused lesson from the teacher is being assimilated. I had a feeling when talking with Sam that he says "YES" a lot in his life. Thank you, Sam I am very grateful that you came with your parents and shared part of your life journey with me, you gave me something I needed to hear. Love to All

Saturday 19 July 2014

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution:  Getting to Know Me, For Better or Worse, in Sick...

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution:
 Getting to Know Me, For Better or Worse, in Sick...
:   Getting to Know Me, For Better or Worse, in Sickness and Health....... I am still working very hard to learn about me, and from d...



  Getting to Know Me, For Better or Worse, in Sickness and Health.......




I am still working very hard to learn about me, and from doing this I am seeing more clearly the obstacles to my own happiness, good health and healthy relationships. In all my experiences in life I am the one constant.
 To do this research on me, I have to be  the scientist and lab rat at the same time. This is the most important work I have to do and the most challenging. What has been my most important step in this process..... setting the intention and paying attention, in other words practicing mindfulness. If there is no motivation there is no action, my motivation comes from wanting to create a kinder world, and that starts with me being kinder to myself and understanding me, and the obstacles that keep me from being kind to myself. The obstacles are the old habits, patterns and stories I tell myself, and in order to be aware of them I practice being mindful to what is going on in my inner world...not an easy practice, but the results are MOST certainly worth it.



“If we hope to go anywhere or develop ourselves in any way, we can only step from where we are standing. If we don't really know where we are standing... We may only go in circles...”
Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life 

  
I can be so unkind to myself, say things I would not say to someone else, like "come on you have no reason to be tired, get at it", "you will NEVER be good enough, know enough, just give up", "___________ doesn't like you, so just go away", "what good is your life, you waste so much time", "other people know better than you, you don't know what you want", on and on. This kind of internal dialogue keeps me stuck, inhibits personal growth, creates stress which causes inflammation, poor health over time and a sense of not being all right in the world, a feeling of sadness, loneliness, fear, and energy draining.As I get to know myself, my inner world better, more familiar which is what meditation, the practice of mindfulness does, allowing me to be more familiar with what is happening. When I notice I am caught in these old patterns, this is a mindful moment and this is where I can pause and change what is happening internally. What are the things you say to yourself that have become habitual over the years, that hold you prisoner? What practices do you do that help with these old stories?

Sharing our life journey with each other helps us feel not so alone, that it is not just me, that this is a journey we are all struggling in, together.

Love to all

Wednesday 16 July 2014

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution: Gratitude Shower Just got back from a wonderful w...

Mary M. Purdy Compassionate Evolution: Gratitude Shower
Just got back from a wonderful w...
: Gratitude Shower Just got back from a wonderful walk in the rain . , with Archan. I love a warm soft rain , cleansing, soothing, refr...


Gratitude Shower

Just got back from a wonderful walk in the rain., with Archan. I love a warm soft rain, cleansing, soothing, refreshing and great for the garden. There is a couple of birds singing, it sounds to me like a song of gratitude for the rain, I think it brings the worms to the surface. The  regular expression of gratitude supports the cultivation of compassion....why? When I feel grateful for the rain and the amount we receive, I think of countries, even provinces in our own country that need rain, I feel compassion for the people, animals, the earth that need rain. Now what, is there anything I can do about the suffering of those who need rain/water, well I can write about it, I can have conversations with people about the suffering of others, there is always something I can do, I can say a prayer, not in the usual sense of prayer but a prayer from my heart to others, the earth...."May you receive what you need, May those of us that are creating global issues see our wrong doing and change,NOW." So, smile and be grateful, feel a softening in your chest, in the area of your heart, and do this while tipping your face up to the rain, like a child would, stick out your tongue and catch a rain drop or two. Let the energy of warmth and care spread out from your heart into the world. This feels so very good, the smile, practice of gratitude, which makes us kinder to ourselves others and the world. I will share the healing power of smiling another time. love to all

Monday 14 July 2014

Mary Purdy Compassionate Evolution:  NEW BEGINNINGS How exciting, starting a new Blo...

Mary Purdy Compassionate Evolution:  NEW BEGINNINGS

How exciting, starting a new Blo...
:  NEW BEGINNINGS How exciting, starting a new Blog, a new beginning. I like that I can always begin again. Screwed up, begin again. ...

 NEW BEGINNINGS


How exciting, starting a new Blog, a new beginning. I like that I can always begin again. Screwed up, begin again. I don't have to stay in my old ways, patterns, habits if they don't serve me, others and the world. I can change, grow, science confirms this, I can change my brain...great news. So, I want to think and write about new beginnings, evolving, imagining my future and moving into it. I am in the designing part of a sculpture, it is about shedding old skin, just like a snake sheds its skin, I am shedding my old stories, patterns, habits, a compassionate evolution. I will be kind, caring as I shed, slip ups will be held in deep kindness as I begin again. I am so very fortunate to have a supporting partner and friends that I share my visualizations of my future with, so they too can coach, encourage me with deep kindness and compassion. I look forward to having you, the reader travel with me into the future.